Exhausting My Mind

My first post was never meant to be about this topic. It's a topic I've always neglected, no, ignored. Yesterday has been such a lifetime. The past is haunting me. Y'see, how can I forget something that I have set as my goal, my future, my personal lifetime wish? I really do not know, maybe you do... do you?

People may see me now as a fool, a nobody, even a failure. But that does not stop me from believing in myself. I believe that whatever does not kill me, simply makes me stronger. Then what if it can kill me? It is already doing so. I am left with three unfathomable options with painful consequences. If I am too early to decide which path to take then I go down possibly with depression. If I were to choose later, then everything will be over. Then again, If I am to continue my current status, I would have never reached what I aimed years ago, I would not have even tried.

The way I see it, I do not deserve whatever I have at the moment. But, giving up on it may not seem too well. I may end up losing both, my current status and my dream. But is it all worthy to fulfill your own destiny? I say, I created my own destiny therefore I am not to fail with it.

Reconsidering the fact about chances, I must have the lowest of them all. Chances on having any of my desires to be fulfilled are marginal, then how does one deal with it? I am full of thoughts that I can barely make sense with whatever I say. Surely, there must be at least someone who I can reach out and make sense with. Removing other people's judgmental views, things would be pretty easier. Things may take a while before they would be fulfilled, I am sure of it. For how long must one endure?

I do not know which is the right choice, I am betting that I can make the right one.