Whatever I Want

A few lines from the movie The Dark Knight, and some other things I want to remember.

You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

- Harvey Dent, Batman, The Dark Knight

...the world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance; unbiased, unprejudiced, fair.

- Two - Face, The Dark Knight

I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.

If you're good at something, never do it for free.

The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules.

See, I’m not a monster... I’m just ahead of the curve.

Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, you know that thing about chaos? It’s fair.

Y'see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little... push.

- The Joker, The Dark Knight

Law 1 - Never outshine the master
Law 3 - Always say less than necessary
Law 9 - Win through actions, never through argument
Law 41 - Avoid stepping into a great man's shoes
Law 46 - Never appear too perfect

- Robert Greene, The 48 Laws of Power

A few movies kept me really entertained, by entertained I mean deeply captivated. I sometimes walk along a street thinking how different things maybe if something ever happened like in the movies. In truth, I'm just wasting my time to cut the boredom in me. Same goes when I read books, tangible ones, and not just some random e-book. It's a little different when I think about my age-old feelings. I tend to do nothing.

I guess I am not making any better sense, again.

Exhausting My Mind

My first post was never meant to be about this topic. It's a topic I've always neglected, no, ignored. Yesterday has been such a lifetime. The past is haunting me. Y'see, how can I forget something that I have set as my goal, my future, my personal lifetime wish? I really do not know, maybe you do... do you?

People may see me now as a fool, a nobody, even a failure. But that does not stop me from believing in myself. I believe that whatever does not kill me, simply makes me stronger. Then what if it can kill me? It is already doing so. I am left with three unfathomable options with painful consequences. If I am too early to decide which path to take then I go down possibly with depression. If I were to choose later, then everything will be over. Then again, If I am to continue my current status, I would have never reached what I aimed years ago, I would not have even tried.

The way I see it, I do not deserve whatever I have at the moment. But, giving up on it may not seem too well. I may end up losing both, my current status and my dream. But is it all worthy to fulfill your own destiny? I say, I created my own destiny therefore I am not to fail with it.

Reconsidering the fact about chances, I must have the lowest of them all. Chances on having any of my desires to be fulfilled are marginal, then how does one deal with it? I am full of thoughts that I can barely make sense with whatever I say. Surely, there must be at least someone who I can reach out and make sense with. Removing other people's judgmental views, things would be pretty easier. Things may take a while before they would be fulfilled, I am sure of it. For how long must one endure?

I do not know which is the right choice, I am betting that I can make the right one.